What happened in 2019

2019

In the beginning of the year I have stated some resolutions. I wanted to make new habits, and make them stick. Didn’t work out.

Here I will reflect on what happened to myself in 2019. I will not do it in chronological order.

Switched department

I am now working not as software developer, but as data scientist of some kind. We analyze BGP announcements on the internet and provide different kinds of statistics.

Started driving lessons

Because I want to travel more I have started taking driving lessons. It wasn’t easy in the beginning. I am quite hard with the clutch. Turns out here I can take practical lessons without passing theory exam. While I was practicing the CBR has changed theory exam from two stages to three. It will be harder to pass it now, and I made it late.

Put language lessons on pause

With all the things I was doing on my daily job and with driving lessons I have decided that it is too much for me to take language learning seriously now. So I have postponed it to after I get license.

Understood the burnout and got out of it

That was the reason I have switched department. I was quite enthusiastic about my job in the beginning of the year. New people came to the team, and it was seen as positive change to the team capabilities.

However, with better technical skills came also new problems in communication. My roles as SCRUM master and team fireman were overwhelming. I have had several sleepless nights with thoughts about my team and technical problems we are facing. To add here also some paradigm shifts in personal data management and trust management - it was too much for me. I wanted safety in my work life, and I wanted it as soon as possible, otherwise I would burnout.

I have started changing my routines to be more clear, and my days to be more simple not in terms of doing less, but in terms of having clearer mind. I have started battle against distractions, and battle against guilt of not being busy all the time. This is what a lot of people face today, and struggle to overcome.

With this came a realization that I need to put my digital life to balance. I need to trust devices I use. But, I cannot go fully of the grid, I cannot use only open devices and opensource software. Problem is that if I go this way, the things I can do will be limited. Given that I am not living under the rock I need to use modern proprietary software and hardware.